Jul 30 2008
Midweek Anecdote: An Unstoppable Force
It seems I can’t have a trip to southern Europe without encountering a male cab driver with an unstoppable desire to share with me his deep and personal feelings on the subject of women. This trip to Barcelona was no exception. I wonder if a lady cab driver would talk to me about men’s bums if I were a female passenger: can any of the ladies reading enlighten me on this subject?
This post does contain quotes from the cab driver, which could cause offence to some. It is not strong language, but I felt it best to give a quick warning so people could stop now if they’d rather not hear what I did.
Heading out to the sea front on Monday evening, we decided to catch a cab; they really aren’t that expensive, and it was already late by the time we set out. The driver, a twenty-something fair-haired pony-tailed Catalonian, wasn’t conversational to begin with, focused as he was on over-taking everything that he could, and cursing at cyclists who strayed into his chosen lane. It was only when my friend passed a remark to me on the amount of gold on the outfit of a young lady who was waiting at the lights that the driver turned his attention to us. And when I say turned his attention, I mean turned right around in his seat to animatedly discuss the female form while still driving just over the speed limit.
“Ah, yeah, she have the great tits. I love them. They’re great, no? I love the ladies. And the summer! I hate it!”
I hadn’t been intending to engage him in conversation; in fact, I was pointing at the road ahead, especially the bus pulling out into our lane, but, my curiousity roused, before I could stop myself, I asked: “Really? Why?”
“I have to work. I can’t to concentrate, it’s summer. I should be the holiday, you know? I can’t to enjoy. All the ladies… the clothes. The great tits.” He took both hands off the wheel to demonstrate what he meant, and grinned in a manner that I can only call wolfish.
We both nodded and made nervously sympathetic noises, as much as to say why yes, the Barcelona summer is very hot, and it would certainly be unpleasant to sit in a leather seat in a car without air conditioning all day, but all the same, would you mind turning around because that other cab is playing chicken with you.
“When are you going on holiday?” I asked, with a vague hope of getting him off the subject of the ladies before he rear-ended someone, or worse, strayed into the territory of where the best strip bars are or what lady he was with the previous night: I have been through enough such conversations over the years, and could do without another one. “August? We noticed that a lot of places are closed in August.”
“No. Not August. September. I must to wait. But then I go away. Is good.”
“Where are you going?” I asked, pleased that not only was this safer territory, but he was also less animated, and seemed more focused on the road.
“Italy.”
“Oh, lovely! That’s great. Italy has some lovely countryside.”
“Yes. Country, Italy. It’s great.” He was now looking at the road again, and we both relaxed… but not for long: he spun round in his seat, looked at us and raised his hand showing us four fingers: “I go with four ladies. Lady friends they live there. I have four weeks with the ladies. They are great. They have the great tits.”
He laughed loudly, swerved to avoid a cyclist, and pulled in against the kerb with a jolting bump. “Right here,” he announced, jumping out of the car to open the back door. “Four euro twenty. And look at that,” he gestured broadly at the promenade by the marina, as if to encompass every woman in view. “My ladies. It makes me want to…”
“Here you are, keep the change!” we said in chorus, not needing the mental image to go any further, but, unswerving and unstoppable to the last, he finished the sentence anyway. I will spare you that, at least.
6 Responses to “Midweek Anecdote: An Unstoppable Force”
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Ah the dangers of riding in a cab, Cab rides are rarely uninteresting.
I swear my dyslexia makes figuring out the “challenge words” to post a comment very difficult. This time I had to request new Challenges twice because I just couldn’t figure out at least one of the words.
I was wondering about that, because it does seem like it would be quite hard for you. I wonder if there’s a way to make it easier, like a ‘having trouble’ button. I’ve seen those on other sites.
Did I ever tell you about the nightmare cab driver I had in San Francisco? Now there’s a story not for public blogging!
I used to travel a lot and I had some experience with taxi drivers but I have never met any mail driver talking about other men’s bums:) That’s a challenge:)!
Hahaha! I never even encountered that in San Francisco, so it really must be rare!
maybe because we are a gay couple. John and I always get hounded. Even in West Hollywood if we take a cab we have to be careful. They wont even pick us up if they think were drunk (due to his chair), It’s to much work for them ! but if we get a cab Its always the same thing… Are we into three ways or want to to have one? I have never found this true when I travel alone. We never had these questions before(he was in the chair)! I feel horrible and don’t know how to respond without getting kicked out before we reach our destination. Please help!
Ed, when I was living in San Francisco, I found that it was extremely hard to get a cab with the chair. It shocked me because I’ve never had that problem in Europe. If I was alone, drivers would refuse to take me, claiming they weren’t insured for back injury that could be caused by lifting the chair, and if I was with a friend, they’d only agree if he did all the lifting. I never had a cab stop if I tried to flag one down - they always ignored me.
I was told a few times that I was supposed to call and order a special taxi cab for wheelchair passengers, not use the regular cabs. Have you tried this? The problem of course is the timing and the wait.
The other problem, being asked if you want a three-way… I would just calmly say “No, we’re not into three-ways.” If he persists, just say “We really aren’t into it: we’re focusing on each other.”
I don’t think you’ll get kicked out of the cab, because if a driver did that, you would be entitled to compensation. Remember, if a driver is unpleasant or mean, you can write down his ID number and make a complaint.
I’ve never been propositioned by a cab driver, but I do know how you feel with the questions. One of the reasons I don’t go out on the German gay scene is because I get propositioned in ways I’m not comfortable with too often. It can leave one feeling vulnerable, especially in a situation like you mention. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.